Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Widows Wear Stilettos

This posting is for any widows who may read my blog.

When Greg first died, I could not find any support. Oh, yeah - I had the obligatory "I'm sorry for your loss" comments and all, but I could not find any local support groups - not even through my church. I felt pretty at sea with all of this.

So, because I am an internet junkie (well, kinda sorta - but I was already writing this blog when he died), I went looking online. And I stumbled on a couple of areas. One was a local group, recently founded, that actually encouraged social gatherings. They did NOT promote themselves as a support group or counseling group. Just a place for those in like circumstances to vent, etc. Well, after several meetings with some of these people, it was evident to me that some were NOT making progress: some had lost their spouses over 2 years before and made the same woe-filled comments at each gathering. I know, I know... we all progress at our own pace. I just felt that some of those folks could probably benefit from professional counseling. And some may have suffered from depression, which I was fortunate to have NOT gone through. Stunned disbelief, I had, but not depression.

However, I did make a few closer friends out of this group, so that was good. A small group (in my suburban area) of us "broke away" and now meet every now and then for lunch and dinner. I am in phone contact with one of those women very frequently, and I enjoy her friendship. I guess you could call us "merry widows" because we have discovered that laughter is so beneficial.

I found another site that enourages and supports widows, and for a while I posted on that one - Widows Quest. Incredibly supportive women on that one.

Very recently, and a bit too late for the needs I had last year, I found this one, Widows Wear Stilettos. It looks a bit jazzy, maybe with a commercial look, and now has a book written by the woman who started this site. But it seems, on the surface at least, to be also incredibly supportive and has a monthly newsletter, some "tips", etc. The book apparently addresses dating. To sample the website, you might want to try the first monthly newsletter that I could find in the archives, dated September 2006. It even encourages you to - when you are ready - find love again. A comment by the author's rabbi: "Love doesn't die. The person does."

Okay - those of you who still have your spouses, I'll resume some "regular" stuff in my next post. But I still want to help the women who are in the same boat as I am. Collectively, we need all the help we can get!

1 comment:

linda said...

I don't own a pair of stilettos but I'd like to. I'm a flat footed widowed goddess so I wonder if I could even walk in them?! I want to find out!!!