In posting this, I hurt a family member that I really care about. So I have removed it and will try to be more careful in the future. I really did not intend to hurt this person, and I will be crawling on my knees for forgiveness for a LONG, LONG time on this one.
Please forgive me. I know that this is NOT widely read, and the family member does not know this, I am sure. Mea culpa.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I'm ba-a-a-ck!
Yes, I am back. Completely exhausted and tryin' to get the blood back into my alcohol system.... er.... anyway, probably way too much stuff to recount, but I'll try to touch on the highlights - maybe tomorrow.
It is after 9:30 and my butt is draggin'. Got into Houston about 5:30 tonight and hopped on the internet just a bit ago. Had to do the important things - get the mail from my neighbor who so graciously took it in for me, run and pick up a few groceries. Gotta unpack my toothbrush (and - this is VITAL, folks) my makeup, so I don't scare the co-workers tomorrow.
Just wanted ya'll to know that I am alive and (this is a judgment call on my part) well.
It is after 9:30 and my butt is draggin'. Got into Houston about 5:30 tonight and hopped on the internet just a bit ago. Had to do the important things - get the mail from my neighbor who so graciously took it in for me, run and pick up a few groceries. Gotta unpack my toothbrush (and - this is VITAL, folks) my makeup, so I don't scare the co-workers tomorrow.
Just wanted ya'll to know that I am alive and (this is a judgment call on my part) well.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A brief pause...
Well, I am in the greater Mpls-St.Paul area, staying with my sister at her son and daughter-in-law's place. We are caring for their two children (boys) ages 5 and 3 and quite a challenge. My sis cared for them last year all by herself, and I do NOT know how she accomplished that. I will probably have some detail to share with you later, and I feel guilty taking these few minutes to post and leaving her upstairs (I am in the basement - after all - it's Minnesota). I can hear the 5-year-old pestering my sister about where is Jessi now? Anyway, details later.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Your NPR name
If you are a fan of NPR (National Public Radio, for you un-initiated), you know that many hosts and participants have slightly unusual names. Want one for yourself? Go to this website: NPR Name.
My name? Jessmica Lunenberg. (I chose to prounce it Jess-ME-ka) The town is not a really tiny town (pop. over 2,000), but it is charming. It's in Nova Scotia.
My name? Jessmica Lunenberg. (I chose to prounce it Jess-ME-ka) The town is not a really tiny town (pop. over 2,000), but it is charming. It's in Nova Scotia.
Slightly better
For all of you supportive women (and for lurkers and casual readers, too) - I am doing better than when I posted on Saturday. In fact, Sunday was a VERY "up" day for me. I did actually get some things accomplished around the house, including most of the laundry (gotta have my playclothes ready to toss in the suitcase). I am basically down to needing to wash my sheets and my skivvies (gotta make sure the undies are clean, although no one but me will be seeing 'em).
Today is a more level day - some up, some down times. I did have an opportunity to discuss my male problem with a few friends (on the phone). One decided that I should just handle this the Texan way: shoot him. And then drag his body across the threshold, so I could use that ol' alibi of defending my property against an intruder. Unfortunately, he does not live in this state. But... hmmm....
So I go forward, with a heavier heart, nonetheless. On a logical, conscious level, I know that I have a lot to offer any man who would take a second look. But on an emotional level - I am so afraid of getting burned again, that I wonder if I can take the handcuffs off my heart. Guess time will tell. Anyone got a boytoy that I can use to practice with?
Oh, humor... guess I am recovering a bit! Gotta run (I'm at work). Talk wit' ya later!
Today is a more level day - some up, some down times. I did have an opportunity to discuss my male problem with a few friends (on the phone). One decided that I should just handle this the Texan way: shoot him. And then drag his body across the threshold, so I could use that ol' alibi of defending my property against an intruder. Unfortunately, he does not live in this state. But... hmmm....
So I go forward, with a heavier heart, nonetheless. On a logical, conscious level, I know that I have a lot to offer any man who would take a second look. But on an emotional level - I am so afraid of getting burned again, that I wonder if I can take the handcuffs off my heart. Guess time will tell. Anyone got a boytoy that I can use to practice with?
Oh, humor... guess I am recovering a bit! Gotta run (I'm at work). Talk wit' ya later!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Down, down, depressed
Having a bad week, and I guess I only have myself to blame for this. I was disappointed by a man that I thought cared for me. And I hate myself for wearing my heart on my sleeve and leaving me so vulnerable, emotionally. I have been in or near tears most of today. Do not have anyone available (and believe me, I did try) to chat with on the phone or listen to me cry. And the timing of all of this was just peachy - Greg died one year ago on the 15th (yesterday). I guess that compounded the hurt. Maybe I am a 3-time loser: my first husband (divorce), second husband (death) and now this guy who let me down. Damn me for being so trusting, eh?
Worse yet, this has taken the wind out of my sails, and I am NOT moving forward with the packing up that is needed, to get this house on the market. Could the timing be any worse, I ask you.
Sorry to post this downer of a posting. Just sharing my low times - cannot find anything funny in this at all.
Worse yet, this has taken the wind out of my sails, and I am NOT moving forward with the packing up that is needed, to get this house on the market. Could the timing be any worse, I ask you.
Sorry to post this downer of a posting. Just sharing my low times - cannot find anything funny in this at all.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
More stuff, same Thursday
Just a couple of things:
I am wearing a bright, lime-green top and have on long, dangly earrings in the same color (just about shoulder-length earrings). Lately, I seem to have discovered color and lost inhibitions along those same lines. I bought these earrings (and a coupla other pairs) at a chain called Charming Charlies. What a fun store to browse through! The costume jewelry is SO fun, so inexpensive... each pair of earrings that I bought, was only $5. And it makes me feel bubbly when I wear one of these funky pairs of earrings.
Last night, after work, I went to a wine-and-food pairing put on by one of the HEB grocery stores in my suburban area. I know several of the people who work there, especially those at the Cooking Connection. And also the store's wine steward. The Cooking Connection is where they offer recipes and samples of food prepared with store specials of the week, whether it be meat, fish, spices, etc.It was a lot of fun, and I was surprised to see a woman come into the room who was from my church. In fact, when we joined this church 10 years ago, the church paired us up with someone, and she was our "sponsor". Anyway, she lost her husband years and years ago... and well, I don't want to go on and on.
So it was fun to have someone to talk with, compare wine favorites with, etc. I think we were the last two people to leave the room, when the evening was drawing down. Good times - great laughter! I wasn't too fond of her when we met her years ago, and that mostly stemmed from the fact that she smelled like a walking cigarette. I smoked in my late teens and early 20's, then quit. My late spouse had oral cancer years ago, and it was caught in time. But you and I know the biggest contributing factor for oral cancer: tobacco use. So maybe you can understand my dislike for smokers. J, the woman I sat with last night, quit smoking years ago, and now I find that she has a fun personality.
Tonight, at the other HEB in my area, I am going to a wine-tasting night. They don't have a full-blown food menu with this one, but do offer some cheese, fruit, bread to try to keep us half-way sober (well, that is how I interpret that). And I know the wine steward at this store, too, and also E, the woman who is kind of a steward-in-training. E makes me laugh, and that is a GOOD thing!
So - two nights where I don't have to cook. Great! And where I can be amongst other people while eating and sipping - even better. Eating alone gets to be the pits, folks, don't let anybody kid you on this. I mean, I used to enjoy trying to squeeze in "me" time (sometimes I felt like we had too much together time). But when the choice isn't there, it gets old in a hurry.
That's the summary. Maybe the weekend will produce something worthy of blogging about. And I can tell you what happened in probate court, where I'll be on Monday, as the lawyer presents the handwritten will to the judge. My two friends from Wimberley are graciously coming back into Houston to swear to Greg's handwriting, bless them both. I hope I can be as good a friend to them through the years, as they have been to me.
I am wearing a bright, lime-green top and have on long, dangly earrings in the same color (just about shoulder-length earrings). Lately, I seem to have discovered color and lost inhibitions along those same lines. I bought these earrings (and a coupla other pairs) at a chain called Charming Charlies. What a fun store to browse through! The costume jewelry is SO fun, so inexpensive... each pair of earrings that I bought, was only $5. And it makes me feel bubbly when I wear one of these funky pairs of earrings.
Last night, after work, I went to a wine-and-food pairing put on by one of the HEB grocery stores in my suburban area. I know several of the people who work there, especially those at the Cooking Connection. And also the store's wine steward. The Cooking Connection is where they offer recipes and samples of food prepared with store specials of the week, whether it be meat, fish, spices, etc.It was a lot of fun, and I was surprised to see a woman come into the room who was from my church. In fact, when we joined this church 10 years ago, the church paired us up with someone, and she was our "sponsor". Anyway, she lost her husband years and years ago... and well, I don't want to go on and on.
So it was fun to have someone to talk with, compare wine favorites with, etc. I think we were the last two people to leave the room, when the evening was drawing down. Good times - great laughter! I wasn't too fond of her when we met her years ago, and that mostly stemmed from the fact that she smelled like a walking cigarette. I smoked in my late teens and early 20's, then quit. My late spouse had oral cancer years ago, and it was caught in time. But you and I know the biggest contributing factor for oral cancer: tobacco use. So maybe you can understand my dislike for smokers. J, the woman I sat with last night, quit smoking years ago, and now I find that she has a fun personality.
Tonight, at the other HEB in my area, I am going to a wine-tasting night. They don't have a full-blown food menu with this one, but do offer some cheese, fruit, bread to try to keep us half-way sober (well, that is how I interpret that). And I know the wine steward at this store, too, and also E, the woman who is kind of a steward-in-training. E makes me laugh, and that is a GOOD thing!
So - two nights where I don't have to cook. Great! And where I can be amongst other people while eating and sipping - even better. Eating alone gets to be the pits, folks, don't let anybody kid you on this. I mean, I used to enjoy trying to squeeze in "me" time (sometimes I felt like we had too much together time). But when the choice isn't there, it gets old in a hurry.
That's the summary. Maybe the weekend will produce something worthy of blogging about. And I can tell you what happened in probate court, where I'll be on Monday, as the lawyer presents the handwritten will to the judge. My two friends from Wimberley are graciously coming back into Houston to swear to Greg's handwriting, bless them both. I hope I can be as good a friend to them through the years, as they have been to me.
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