Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Me and the big C

Well, folks, this is becoming very REAL to me. I have been scheduled for a "consult" at the U of MN in the Women's Health Center. Today, a phone call informed me that this will be a 2 to 4 hour appointment. Sobering thought, all that time for who-knows-what.

I wish I had someone's hand to hold through all of this. A none-judgmental warm and caring person. I feel so alone, so lonely. I have been a major support of my late husband through all of his many health issues, and then for my (former) guy-friend through several of his health treatments and issues. And my thanks is: a major, MAJOR health crisis that I will have to go through all by myself. Yes, I have family, my sister and my mother. But it's not the kind of support who can be by my side, to give me a shoulder to cry or sob on, to help me work out my fears. But this is not to be...

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

3 comments:

Ellen said...

Believe me I'm there for you, Jessi. I can't be there physically but I'm there spiritually. I keep sending prayers and good thoughts your way hoping it will make a difference. Please know, I will always be here for you. Here's a big ((((((HUG)))))) for you. Love you, cuz, Ellen:-)

Kim said...

You have been in my thoughts a lot since I read of your diagnosis. Love and hugs to you!!!

jessica said...

Thank you, both. I wasn't sure anyone was still reading my blog, since I had been very erratic in posting. I know that I have SADD (seasonally affected depression disorder), so the grey days make me even MORE depressed than the diagnosis alone does. I have a date & time for surgery: Thursday, Nov. 17 @ 2:30. I will want to chew someone's arm off, by the time they wheel me down the hall, since I will have to discontinue food after breakfast on the 16th.