Sunday, May 16, 2010

Two years

It is so hard for me to believe that yesterday was the two-year mark of Greg's death. Two years. And I am not the same person who was reeling from the unexpected sudden widowhood... not at all. And I could never have predicted the experiences that I have had since that day.

So many people who were so supportive. Finding other blogs written by other widows, some with young children, some so much younger than I was (at the time Greg died). Finding a network in Houston of widows (okay, some widowers, but mostly widows) so that I had someone to socialize with, someone who got it.

Defining what the new normal was for me. Taking my life into my own hands- no matter what others thought of my actions and oftentimes disregarding their well-meant advice because it did not, would not work for me.

My gratitude for family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers and everything they did for me. How can you say thank you to so many, for so many kind actions?

I know that others will walk in these shoes, are out there and looking for help, support, direction. And I pray that you, too, will heal with time. Believe me, I got so tired of hearing that -- but it is SO true: time will heal you, heal that deep wound that you felt when your spouse died. And if you are blessed enough to find another to love, do not be afraid to open your heart to that possibility. It helps the healing, makes you look forward again. It is not betrayal to your late spouse to love again.

So this is my two-year mark. And I don't know if I will mark the three-year time by musing about it. I hope you'll understand if I don't mention it at this time, next year.

{{Hugs}} to new widows and also to those who have been walking this path longer than I have. That is one of the things I missed for a long time: hugs.


Talk2Barbara said...

It's been five years for me and every day is an adventure. I am forever discovering new parts of me. It is amazing to know how different I am than who I would have been. You will see.

Anonymous said...

~Hugs~ Yes I'm back. No idea if I'll even keep my blog or not but I'm here for now. I am going on 3 yrs without my B and sometimes it still seems like yesterday. You've come a long way! Linda