Yes, I am back. Completely exhausted and tryin' to get the blood back into my alcohol system.... er.... anyway, probably way too much stuff to recount, but I'll try to touch on the highlights - maybe tomorrow.
It is after 9:30 and my butt is draggin'. Got into Houston about 5:30 tonight and hopped on the internet just a bit ago. Had to do the important things - get the mail from my neighbor who so graciously took it in for me, run and pick up a few groceries. Gotta unpack my toothbrush (and - this is VITAL, folks) my makeup, so I don't scare the co-workers tomorrow.
Just wanted ya'll to know that I am alive and (this is a judgment call on my part) well.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A brief pause...
Well, I am in the greater Mpls-St.Paul area, staying with my sister at her son and daughter-in-law's place. We are caring for their two children (boys) ages 5 and 3 and quite a challenge. My sis cared for them last year all by herself, and I do NOT know how she accomplished that. I will probably have some detail to share with you later, and I feel guilty taking these few minutes to post and leaving her upstairs (I am in the basement - after all - it's Minnesota). I can hear the 5-year-old pestering my sister about where is Jessi now? Anyway, details later.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Your NPR name
If you are a fan of NPR (National Public Radio, for you un-initiated), you know that many hosts and participants have slightly unusual names. Want one for yourself? Go to this website: NPR Name.
My name? Jessmica Lunenberg. (I chose to prounce it Jess-ME-ka) The town is not a really tiny town (pop. over 2,000), but it is charming. It's in Nova Scotia.
My name? Jessmica Lunenberg. (I chose to prounce it Jess-ME-ka) The town is not a really tiny town (pop. over 2,000), but it is charming. It's in Nova Scotia.
Slightly better
For all of you supportive women (and for lurkers and casual readers, too) - I am doing better than when I posted on Saturday. In fact, Sunday was a VERY "up" day for me. I did actually get some things accomplished around the house, including most of the laundry (gotta have my playclothes ready to toss in the suitcase). I am basically down to needing to wash my sheets and my skivvies (gotta make sure the undies are clean, although no one but me will be seeing 'em).
Today is a more level day - some up, some down times. I did have an opportunity to discuss my male problem with a few friends (on the phone). One decided that I should just handle this the Texan way: shoot him. And then drag his body across the threshold, so I could use that ol' alibi of defending my property against an intruder. Unfortunately, he does not live in this state. But... hmmm....
So I go forward, with a heavier heart, nonetheless. On a logical, conscious level, I know that I have a lot to offer any man who would take a second look. But on an emotional level - I am so afraid of getting burned again, that I wonder if I can take the handcuffs off my heart. Guess time will tell. Anyone got a boytoy that I can use to practice with?
Oh, humor... guess I am recovering a bit! Gotta run (I'm at work). Talk wit' ya later!
Today is a more level day - some up, some down times. I did have an opportunity to discuss my male problem with a few friends (on the phone). One decided that I should just handle this the Texan way: shoot him. And then drag his body across the threshold, so I could use that ol' alibi of defending my property against an intruder. Unfortunately, he does not live in this state. But... hmmm....
So I go forward, with a heavier heart, nonetheless. On a logical, conscious level, I know that I have a lot to offer any man who would take a second look. But on an emotional level - I am so afraid of getting burned again, that I wonder if I can take the handcuffs off my heart. Guess time will tell. Anyone got a boytoy that I can use to practice with?
Oh, humor... guess I am recovering a bit! Gotta run (I'm at work). Talk wit' ya later!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Down, down, depressed
Having a bad week, and I guess I only have myself to blame for this. I was disappointed by a man that I thought cared for me. And I hate myself for wearing my heart on my sleeve and leaving me so vulnerable, emotionally. I have been in or near tears most of today. Do not have anyone available (and believe me, I did try) to chat with on the phone or listen to me cry. And the timing of all of this was just peachy - Greg died one year ago on the 15th (yesterday). I guess that compounded the hurt. Maybe I am a 3-time loser: my first husband (divorce), second husband (death) and now this guy who let me down. Damn me for being so trusting, eh?
Worse yet, this has taken the wind out of my sails, and I am NOT moving forward with the packing up that is needed, to get this house on the market. Could the timing be any worse, I ask you.
Sorry to post this downer of a posting. Just sharing my low times - cannot find anything funny in this at all.
Worse yet, this has taken the wind out of my sails, and I am NOT moving forward with the packing up that is needed, to get this house on the market. Could the timing be any worse, I ask you.
Sorry to post this downer of a posting. Just sharing my low times - cannot find anything funny in this at all.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
More stuff, same Thursday
Just a couple of things:
I am wearing a bright, lime-green top and have on long, dangly earrings in the same color (just about shoulder-length earrings). Lately, I seem to have discovered color and lost inhibitions along those same lines. I bought these earrings (and a coupla other pairs) at a chain called Charming Charlies. What a fun store to browse through! The costume jewelry is SO fun, so inexpensive... each pair of earrings that I bought, was only $5. And it makes me feel bubbly when I wear one of these funky pairs of earrings.
Last night, after work, I went to a wine-and-food pairing put on by one of the HEB grocery stores in my suburban area. I know several of the people who work there, especially those at the Cooking Connection. And also the store's wine steward. The Cooking Connection is where they offer recipes and samples of food prepared with store specials of the week, whether it be meat, fish, spices, etc.It was a lot of fun, and I was surprised to see a woman come into the room who was from my church. In fact, when we joined this church 10 years ago, the church paired us up with someone, and she was our "sponsor". Anyway, she lost her husband years and years ago... and well, I don't want to go on and on.
So it was fun to have someone to talk with, compare wine favorites with, etc. I think we were the last two people to leave the room, when the evening was drawing down. Good times - great laughter! I wasn't too fond of her when we met her years ago, and that mostly stemmed from the fact that she smelled like a walking cigarette. I smoked in my late teens and early 20's, then quit. My late spouse had oral cancer years ago, and it was caught in time. But you and I know the biggest contributing factor for oral cancer: tobacco use. So maybe you can understand my dislike for smokers. J, the woman I sat with last night, quit smoking years ago, and now I find that she has a fun personality.
Tonight, at the other HEB in my area, I am going to a wine-tasting night. They don't have a full-blown food menu with this one, but do offer some cheese, fruit, bread to try to keep us half-way sober (well, that is how I interpret that). And I know the wine steward at this store, too, and also E, the woman who is kind of a steward-in-training. E makes me laugh, and that is a GOOD thing!
So - two nights where I don't have to cook. Great! And where I can be amongst other people while eating and sipping - even better. Eating alone gets to be the pits, folks, don't let anybody kid you on this. I mean, I used to enjoy trying to squeeze in "me" time (sometimes I felt like we had too much together time). But when the choice isn't there, it gets old in a hurry.
That's the summary. Maybe the weekend will produce something worthy of blogging about. And I can tell you what happened in probate court, where I'll be on Monday, as the lawyer presents the handwritten will to the judge. My two friends from Wimberley are graciously coming back into Houston to swear to Greg's handwriting, bless them both. I hope I can be as good a friend to them through the years, as they have been to me.
I am wearing a bright, lime-green top and have on long, dangly earrings in the same color (just about shoulder-length earrings). Lately, I seem to have discovered color and lost inhibitions along those same lines. I bought these earrings (and a coupla other pairs) at a chain called Charming Charlies. What a fun store to browse through! The costume jewelry is SO fun, so inexpensive... each pair of earrings that I bought, was only $5. And it makes me feel bubbly when I wear one of these funky pairs of earrings.
Last night, after work, I went to a wine-and-food pairing put on by one of the HEB grocery stores in my suburban area. I know several of the people who work there, especially those at the Cooking Connection. And also the store's wine steward. The Cooking Connection is where they offer recipes and samples of food prepared with store specials of the week, whether it be meat, fish, spices, etc.It was a lot of fun, and I was surprised to see a woman come into the room who was from my church. In fact, when we joined this church 10 years ago, the church paired us up with someone, and she was our "sponsor". Anyway, she lost her husband years and years ago... and well, I don't want to go on and on.
So it was fun to have someone to talk with, compare wine favorites with, etc. I think we were the last two people to leave the room, when the evening was drawing down. Good times - great laughter! I wasn't too fond of her when we met her years ago, and that mostly stemmed from the fact that she smelled like a walking cigarette. I smoked in my late teens and early 20's, then quit. My late spouse had oral cancer years ago, and it was caught in time. But you and I know the biggest contributing factor for oral cancer: tobacco use. So maybe you can understand my dislike for smokers. J, the woman I sat with last night, quit smoking years ago, and now I find that she has a fun personality.
Tonight, at the other HEB in my area, I am going to a wine-tasting night. They don't have a full-blown food menu with this one, but do offer some cheese, fruit, bread to try to keep us half-way sober (well, that is how I interpret that). And I know the wine steward at this store, too, and also E, the woman who is kind of a steward-in-training. E makes me laugh, and that is a GOOD thing!
So - two nights where I don't have to cook. Great! And where I can be amongst other people while eating and sipping - even better. Eating alone gets to be the pits, folks, don't let anybody kid you on this. I mean, I used to enjoy trying to squeeze in "me" time (sometimes I felt like we had too much together time). But when the choice isn't there, it gets old in a hurry.
That's the summary. Maybe the weekend will produce something worthy of blogging about. And I can tell you what happened in probate court, where I'll be on Monday, as the lawyer presents the handwritten will to the judge. My two friends from Wimberley are graciously coming back into Houston to swear to Greg's handwriting, bless them both. I hope I can be as good a friend to them through the years, as they have been to me.
Free blog makeover
Thanks to One Breath at a Time for mentioning this: visit this site to get entered for a free blog makeover! Hey, it's worth a shot - plus your odds on this one are SO much better than winning the lotto!!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Quick update
Just to let you all know that I am alive and (fairly) well (if you don't count my mental health!)...
Took last week as a "vacation" from work. And that was interrupted by jury duty - the jury duty from Hell, as it turned out. Details later.
Got a bit done for packing up, and after all, that was my intent. So much house to pack up, and getting down to the nitty gritty crap that does take time to go through. Decided that I just did NOT have the time to parse thru all the vinyl albums that my late spouse left for me to manage. Please take this comment in the humorous mode that I offer it: If he was not already dead, I would kill him! Yes, I have come far enough to say that and laugh about it. Who knew this journey could be accompanied by laughter and humor?
A friend of mine (yes, A, I am talking about you!) and I have a sort of "gallows" sense of humor about departed spouses. I think it is one of the reasons that we enjoy each others' company so much!
What was I talking about? Oh, right - the albums. There is a chain of stores (in Texas, not sure about other areas) called Halfprice Books. They buy used books, and also albums. I toted the seemingly unending volume of albums there, in two batches, one on Monday past, and the rest on Friday. There were enough albums to fill 7 - 9 produce crates (yes, they were stored in those wooden crates, the kind that peaches come into the stores in) pretty well. And I got the grand total of $275. Not a lot of coin, but the object was to NOT have to tote them back to MN with me. Plus, I really provided the staff with endless opportunities to make comments. For example: There was an old Rolling Stones album called Sticky Fingers (and I am NOT going there, folks). It was manufactured with an actual working zipper on the cover, and the staff at HPB said that they had never seen this album with the zipper still intact!
In the immortal words of Rod Stewart - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? (the vehicle, folks!)
Got myself some new - new to ME - wheels. Replaced my '97 Honda Accord with a newer '06 Toyota Rav4. I just LOVE this car - I find myself making up little errands that I just have to run, just to get behind the wheel of this beautiful blue baby. I got a really good deal on it - it was a leased vehicle, recently returned, had only 28K miles on it. Upholstery and so on appears to be in good condition. Lotsa room in the cargo area, which will be great when Nancy drives her blue baby up to MN in July. I wish I was hitting the road NOW.
Jury duty - Nancy probably should have been a no-show for this one on Tuesday. Got a notice that tells you to phone after 5 pm the night before your scheduled jury date. And of course the message told me (and others) to report the next morning before 8:30 am. Okay. Showed up, parked the car, checked in. They didn't get rolling until around 9. Then a bailiff talked, the judge talked and we saw a film about doing our civic duty. Cripes, just like a civic class back in high school. We were told that they needed folks for 3, maybe 4 juries. Around about 10 or 10:30, 60 names were called and mine was one of them. We lined up in numerical order (as called) and played follow the leader from the jury assembly building to the court house. Regressed from high school to grade school, now. Except where we had to have our carry-on (oops, this was NOT an airport), er, carry-IN stuff scanned. We went into a courtroom, where more stuff was said (blah, blah, blah). The judge explained that we could go right into the voir dire (where they ask the prospective jury members various questions) or we could go to lunch and start after lunch. So we ended up with an hour-and-a-half lunch break in this pretty small town. Went to a Mexican restaurant that I had been to before, when I had been on the jury for a child molestation case. And ate. And then called my sis and we wasted some time just chatting.
Back in the courtroom. Turned out that this was the 3rd DUI charge against a guy in his early 40's. So he had opted for a jury trial, in the hopes (I am guessing) of keeping his job and so on, as opposed to the mandatory jail time that a "third strike" carries and the job loss that would follow. All I can tell you is that almost everyone in that courtroom had pretty strong feelings, one way or another. I think I could have been an impartial juror, even given my spouse's drinking. You are supposed to decide, based on the evidence presented, after all. From 1:15 until about 4:30 or 5, questions were asked, both by the lawyers and by the 60 potential jurists. Then they sent us up to the 3rd floor to an empty courtroom. And then small groups were summoned: jurors number 2, 3 and 7 (example). They would go down the elevator, and eventually would return to our little queue of antsy waitees. (My word, probably not proper at all - but this IS my blog.) Yes, I took my turn in the rounds of additional questions. Around 7:15 or so, we were summoned back to the courtroom. And 12 names were announced, letting the rest of us leave at 7:30. Long, long day. Eleven hours.
Remember that we were told that there was a need for 3, maybe 4 juries? One of the women in our group of 60, had a friend who was waiting for jury selection, too. And we found out that they let ALL of the rest of the remaining people leave, about 5 minutes after we walked over to the courthouse. Damn.
Took last week as a "vacation" from work. And that was interrupted by jury duty - the jury duty from Hell, as it turned out. Details later.
Got a bit done for packing up, and after all, that was my intent. So much house to pack up, and getting down to the nitty gritty crap that does take time to go through. Decided that I just did NOT have the time to parse thru all the vinyl albums that my late spouse left for me to manage. Please take this comment in the humorous mode that I offer it: If he was not already dead, I would kill him! Yes, I have come far enough to say that and laugh about it. Who knew this journey could be accompanied by laughter and humor?
A friend of mine (yes, A, I am talking about you!) and I have a sort of "gallows" sense of humor about departed spouses. I think it is one of the reasons that we enjoy each others' company so much!
What was I talking about? Oh, right - the albums. There is a chain of stores (in Texas, not sure about other areas) called Halfprice Books. They buy used books, and also albums. I toted the seemingly unending volume of albums there, in two batches, one on Monday past, and the rest on Friday. There were enough albums to fill 7 - 9 produce crates (yes, they were stored in those wooden crates, the kind that peaches come into the stores in) pretty well. And I got the grand total of $275. Not a lot of coin, but the object was to NOT have to tote them back to MN with me. Plus, I really provided the staff with endless opportunities to make comments. For example: There was an old Rolling Stones album called Sticky Fingers (and I am NOT going there, folks). It was manufactured with an actual working zipper on the cover, and the staff at HPB said that they had never seen this album with the zipper still intact!
In the immortal words of Rod Stewart - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? (the vehicle, folks!)Got myself some new - new to ME - wheels. Replaced my '97 Honda Accord with a newer '06 Toyota Rav4. I just LOVE this car - I find myself making up little errands that I just have to run, just to get behind the wheel of this beautiful blue baby. I got a really good deal on it - it was a leased vehicle, recently returned, had only 28K miles on it. Upholstery and so on appears to be in good condition. Lotsa room in the cargo area, which will be great when Nancy drives her blue baby up to MN in July. I wish I was hitting the road NOW.
Jury duty - Nancy probably should have been a no-show for this one on Tuesday. Got a notice that tells you to phone after 5 pm the night before your scheduled jury date. And of course the message told me (and others) to report the next morning before 8:30 am. Okay. Showed up, parked the car, checked in. They didn't get rolling until around 9. Then a bailiff talked, the judge talked and we saw a film about doing our civic duty. Cripes, just like a civic class back in high school. We were told that they needed folks for 3, maybe 4 juries. Around about 10 or 10:30, 60 names were called and mine was one of them. We lined up in numerical order (as called) and played follow the leader from the jury assembly building to the court house. Regressed from high school to grade school, now. Except where we had to have our carry-on (oops, this was NOT an airport), er, carry-IN stuff scanned. We went into a courtroom, where more stuff was said (blah, blah, blah). The judge explained that we could go right into the voir dire (where they ask the prospective jury members various questions) or we could go to lunch and start after lunch. So we ended up with an hour-and-a-half lunch break in this pretty small town. Went to a Mexican restaurant that I had been to before, when I had been on the jury for a child molestation case. And ate. And then called my sis and we wasted some time just chatting.
Back in the courtroom. Turned out that this was the 3rd DUI charge against a guy in his early 40's. So he had opted for a jury trial, in the hopes (I am guessing) of keeping his job and so on, as opposed to the mandatory jail time that a "third strike" carries and the job loss that would follow. All I can tell you is that almost everyone in that courtroom had pretty strong feelings, one way or another. I think I could have been an impartial juror, even given my spouse's drinking. You are supposed to decide, based on the evidence presented, after all. From 1:15 until about 4:30 or 5, questions were asked, both by the lawyers and by the 60 potential jurists. Then they sent us up to the 3rd floor to an empty courtroom. And then small groups were summoned: jurors number 2, 3 and 7 (example). They would go down the elevator, and eventually would return to our little queue of antsy waitees. (My word, probably not proper at all - but this IS my blog.) Yes, I took my turn in the rounds of additional questions. Around 7:15 or so, we were summoned back to the courtroom. And 12 names were announced, letting the rest of us leave at 7:30. Long, long day. Eleven hours.
Remember that we were told that there was a need for 3, maybe 4 juries? One of the women in our group of 60, had a friend who was waiting for jury selection, too. And we found out that they let ALL of the rest of the remaining people leave, about 5 minutes after we walked over to the courthouse. Damn.
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