Tuesday, May 20, 2008

How do I write this?

This is one of the most difficult blogs I have ever posted. My husband died on Thursday, and I found him when I got home. I have always referred to him as Drummer, but his name is Greg. I guess that should read "was". It is so hard to type this in. He was only 56.

His memorial service is today at 11 am. He was a truly good guy, warm and caring and always telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I never felt like that was true. I only hope that he knew how much I loved him. We did the "I love you" bit with one another, usually several times a day. Little did I know how abruptly that would end.

Family is with me now and most will fly back to their homes in MN tomorrow. I am the 3rd (and final) female in our family to be widowed - my sister 6 years ago, my mother 4 years ago, and now I enter this "sorority" and didn't want to be inducted at all. Certainly not this early.

The support and warmth that I have felt from family, friends, neighbors, old high school classmates and co-workers has been overwhelming. Truly a blessing to know them and to get their hugs and even their stunned reaction at the news.

Anyway, I don't want to get maudlin, but wanted to post this. I have been awake since around 3 am, and finally slinked into here to write this.

Guess I will brew some decaf and try to steel myself for this day. I am told it is the hardest thing I will ever do. As they say, "Put on your big girl panties and take a deep breath." Oh - and probably grab lots of kleenex.

Best wishes to all who may read this.

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